09~23

And as my beloved Carrie Bradshaw said 'There are three importants time in the life of a girl: the first time she has sex, the first time she has good sex and when she knows her boyfriend's house' Well I didn't have sex so in my case we can talk about 'my first kiss, my first good kiss, and when my boyfriend knew my house'. All of them were really important. The first and second one were the same day, at the same time. Two years ago. And I remember it like it was yesterday. I just can't describe how nervous I was. That party, that dress, that place, that night, that boy. He was a boy, and I was a girl. I am not a girl, not yet a woman. But he is a man. I can't belive how much he has grown.

You don't know how long I've wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight. You don't know how long I've waited and I was gonna tell you tonight, but the secret is still my own and my love for you is still unknow. Alone. But now I'm alone. Everything changed when he walked away, I understand that now. I finished crying in the instant that he left and I can't remember where or when or how. And I banished every memory he and I had ever made. But when he touches me like this and he holds me like that I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me now. If I kiss him like this and if he whispers like that. It was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me. It waas gone with the wind but it's all coming back to me now. The memories come back. They were buried, but suddenly they came into the surface to mess everything up. Once touched by pain, you are not the same.  I was just 'fine' now I don't know how I am. I told everyone that I'm fine, that I don't need anything and anyone. But I need your kiss, your arms, your words. I need you. I need you. I need you. And I miss your touch, and I miss you... I'm still in әʌol with you.

What would happen if they ever knew I'm in love with you?